i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
