I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
