I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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