Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
