It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
