Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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