I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
