Don't you send me to vm
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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