HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
