Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
