Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
