there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
