do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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