so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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