we have officially lost it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
His hands were made for my vagina.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also, beer. Big fan.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
