I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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