I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
