went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
