i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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