you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
