Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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