Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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