I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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