there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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