I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
