I think my vagina is haunted
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
