I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
