well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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