you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
