I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
