I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
