it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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