there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
