Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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