im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am midnight drunk by noon
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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