Sponge bath it is.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
