How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
