i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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