Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
