I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
