just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i need an iv and a liver transplant
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
