I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
