i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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