That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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