I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
