Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
