Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
