"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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