i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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