worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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